Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Small Gestures, Big Impact...

   Today several things happened to me that made me realize the impact that small things can have on my mood. I won't go too in depth about it, instead I'll focus on two specific events.
   Now, it's entirely possible that I rely too much on others, in fact, im almost certain of it. Obviously everybody has somebody they couldn't get through their lowest lows with, and someone with whom they want to share their best moments. I don't really have a single person for either of these things, when I'm down, I tend to internalize it, or write it here. When I'm up, I want to share that feeling with the world. Today I experienced both of these, to somewhat of an extreme.

   A few small events put me in a nervous mood, mostly handing in a major assignment and immediately second-guessing myself on it. This heightened sensitivity made me want to talk to someone who would level me out. For that, I text messaged my friend to see if she wanted to hang out between classes. She was being difficult, probably to mess with me, but in my anxious state I didn't feel like dealing with it. I got pretty grumpy almost immediately, and went and sat in an empty classroom.

   I felt awful, and spent the rest of the school day in a bad mood and not really talking to anyone. I left my last class in a bad mood, and was not looking forward to the paper I had to write tonight.

   I stopped by the student mailboxes on my way back to my townhouse, and I had a package from my mother. I was expecting it to just be something I had forgotten to bring with me that I had asked her to mail to me. Imagine my surprise when I opened it and there was a card from my mom, and $40, with a note saying to "smile and have a good day." I remembered that I had told her last week that I was having a tough time with school, and it had me in a slump. This small gesture from my mom immediately cheered me up. It was an extremely sweet thing for her to do, and it put me in a great mood.

   So I guess I have a lot to work on personally, but for now, I'm just happy to have awesome people in my life.

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