Friday, November 25, 2011

Relationship Dynamics or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love TheBomb

   Forgive me if this article sounds like a terrible standup routine. It's not meant to be so much humorous, as observational anecdotes/complaints/whatever. Basically, I've been thinking back on my experience with the opposite sex, as well as stories from friends, and observations on how friends of both sexes have acted around potential sexual conquests.

   First, as a generality, when it comes to deciding whether to be friends, or more than that with a woman, all us men want to know is: "Do I have at least a slim chance of getting this girl in bed, or at least seeing her naked?" If there's even a 1% chance of this, the trajectory of the relationship will always involve the guy trying to get somewhere with the girl. Almost without exception, the only things that will stop this are: the woman telling the man with 100% certainty that he doesn't have a shot, the guy becoming involved in another sexual relationship, the man achieving his goal, or the woman losing her attractiveness in the eyes of the man. This makes platonic relationships near impossible, barring the man being completely uninterested in the woman from Day 1.

   Women, on the other hand, seem to know from very early on whether or not they want a sexual relationship with the man. This can change, but usually changes from her wanting a relationship with him, to not. Change in the opposite direction is rare, and spoken of in hushed tones (similar to that time Kim Jones got fingered on the bus back from the museum). But women expect much more out of men to maintain this "maybe I'll do him" standing. The man can't seem like he wants to sleep with her, but still has to make her feel wanted. He can't act like he cares too much, he has to seem aloof, but still show her that he's interested. It's this delicate balance, among other things, that I attribute to myself remaining single.

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