Saturday, December 17, 2011

Grammar Nazi

This is an extended version of a post I wrote on Facebook that got tons of hate from people who think grammar only matters in English class.
Dear friends,

It's time to learn the difference between there, their, and they're.

Their: showing possession, for example: If they don't learn the correct use of the term, I am going to cut their toes off.

There: showing location, for example: You can put the severed toes on the table over there by the fireplace.

They're: contraction for  "they are", for example: Could you please put those toes in the garbage bin? They're beginning to rot, and I cannot stand the stench.

Addendum: Explanation of use of apostrophes.

Apostrophes are used primarily to show possession. For example, Jack has 6 pies, and the Joker steals them: The Joker stole Jack's pies, all six of them.

Improper use: used to show multiples. For example, Dave had 3 fake IDs and one authentic one:  The cop was not impressed when he saw Dave's (<--possession) fake ID's (<--improper use) but was relieved when he found out Dave was a minor and would be tried as such.

And last but definitely not least, the difference between "then" and "than":

Then: showing necessary consequence, for example: If you don't put those toes in the garbage can then I'm going to sever yours as well.

Than: comparative, for example: Those rotten toes smell worse than anything I've smelled to this point in my life.

-Onward and Upward!

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