Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Thoughts On Maturity

Today I realized just how complicated it can be to have a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I'm not talking about awkward crushes making things uncomfortable for a while. I'm talking about the maturity aspect of it. This may be a one sided thing, but as a young adult male, when I'm with other young adult males, I'm immature, rude, and offensive. You know, the way guys are.
Some girls can handle this and pride themselves in being "one of the guys". This is always fun if the girl is genuinely cool, as it adds the dynamic of guys competing for attention, and as we all know, everything is a competition. I'm talking about the other kinds of girls though, the ones that you would want to date if they weren't your friends, or that maybe you want to date anyways.

These are the kinds of girls I find it difficult to maintain a platonic relationship with. Invariably one of 3 things happens:

  1. The relationship moves beyond being platonic
  2. I get sick of not being able to clown around as the girl expects maturity and doesn't appreciate my jokes.
  3. I piss the girl off with aforementioned constant joking.
Now, I have a theory as to why this happens, why someone who is pretty well adjusted socially, has a hard time with something as simple as friendship. The answer is simple: Blame Cooties.

Seriously, blame cooties. For years after we found out that girls had cooties, girls were icky and we either left them alone or we teased them. This was the status quo (depending on your friends and your older siblings, as well as your pituitary gland) for us from kindergarten until junior high.

Then immediately, girls are something to fight over, and cry over. No warning, no "Sex Drive in 200km" roadsigns, it just happens. The innocence of "No Girls Allowed" clubs and imaginary cooties shots is gone, something to ignore and forget about until we have kids of our own.

From junior high until high school graduation, it is assumed that if you are friends with a girl, you at least want to date her. But then you become an adult (in the eyes of the law, if nothing else) and the status quo changes again. People you've known your whole life start getting married and popping out children.

But why? I didn't turn 21 and all of a sudden have the urge to be a daddy. This, I believe is the problem. The change from girls being gross to girls being yummy was so instant and thorough that it's expected that the change from girls being yummy to girls being pals will be just as smooth. For most of us it isn't. I know many guys who tell me that only an idiot would be friends with a girl he isn't trying to sleep with. My friends, when told I am talking to/texting/ hanging out with/ a girl, always ask the same question. "So you're gonna bang her?"

Girls, it seems, have a much easier time with this, maybe that's because girls can get away with being the same around guys as they are around girls. They can do this because their farts are quieter.

Well as always leave some comments with opinions, tell me a story,whatever. Enjoy it though.

-Onward and Upward!


  1. A wise person once said:

    "A man looks at a women not so much with the thought that he wants to have sex with her, or if she would even have sex with him... It's more the case that he wonders what it would be like to have sex with her."

    Then another wise man said:
    "Women - you can't fuck with them, and you can't fuck without them, either."